The One That Got Away

Just exactly what is the one that got away? 

Have you ever been in love?  I have and I still am.  No not with who you may think! 

• What is love? 
• How do you know its love?
• When should you tell him/her?
• What if they don't feel the same way? 

I have often asked myself those questions many times and I don't seem to know the answer.  I can say without a shadow of a doubt that there is one person who holds the key to my heart and he doesn't know it. 

Love is defined as:  a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.  

Just who is the person that I have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for?  Well I will tell you.  He is someone I've known for years.  He was around before I got married and after my spilt up.  As a matter of fact there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about him before I went to sleep.  I refer to him as the the one that got away.  To be honest he really didn't get away.  I still speak to him and see him from time to time.  However, since I have kids now our relationship has changed. 

What happened with us?  From the moment I met him I knew he was the one. People that really know me know about him. Its funny I think about him every single day. 

Have you ever met someone that makes you laugh all the time.  For some reason I love a silly man!  We share a lot of the same interest.  We love a lot of the same television shows.  He possesses everything I ever wanted in a man.  I still can't understand why he wasn't the one! 

I know everything happens for a reason and I believe there is a reason we have crossed paths yet again. 

So what am I'm going to do?  I'm a big chicken and I hate rejection.   Well I have something big planned sometime in the next year.  I'm going to spill my heart out.  I'm willing to accept whatever the outcome is.  If I ever want to be happy in a healthy relationship I have to end this friendship one way or the other.  I just hope it goes the way I want. 

Since my spilt up with my husband I haven't been in a rush to date or get in a relationship.  However, he is the only man that I would consider giving my heart to again. 

Life is to be lived.  I plan on living it! 
Before I leave this country he will know exactly how I feel! 

Catfishing

Have you ever dated online?  If so how long do you chat back and forth with a person before you meet them? 

So I'm watching tonight's episode of Catfish and I can't understand how people get themselves in these situations?  This guy has been dating some girl that he met online for two years.  What?  If we have not met yet then we are not dating!  
So for two years this guy thinks that he is talking to some model who is a single parent and who works.  First of all if the person you are talking to online only has professional pictures then odds are its not really them.  Now I take really good pictures but they all are not perfect.  I mean come on no one has tagged you in any embarrassing photos?  Next, she keeps making up excuses not to video chat.  Truth be told I have never video chatted myself.  I usually look like a bum around the house so I wouldn't want anyone seeing me like that.  However, if it is someone that I really like I would at least get dressed on put some make-up on to talk to him.   Lastly, if you are dating some you met online and they really really like you they are going to find a way to meet you.  I've dated online and for the most part guys are ready to meet within a week or two. 

Whenever I watch Catfish I'm so surprised at how people get involved in these relationships.  Who uses Facebook to date?  

I think online dating is great.  However, people need to be smart about things.  Don't date someone in a different state then you.  All the person will do is find an excuse not to meet you.  If he or she does live out of town then make sure they are willing to video chat.  If not move on!  If you are talking with someone longer than a month he or she is not excited to meet you.  Move on!  

Don't set yourself up for failure.  Part of me feels like its best to meet quickly and get it out of the way. 

What do you guys think?

Introduction Single Parenthood: How Did I Get Here? And Where Am I going?

This is the blog about my life as a single mother of two.  My goal is to use this blog as a personal journal as highlight some soon to be adventures in my life. 

Where To Start:
I am a single mother of two beautiful little girls.  I've been separated from my husand for a little over a year and will soon be divorced.   I've found living as a single mother to be a very challenging job. 

Me and my beautiful girls. 

 

Since my husband I spilt up I have been living with my mother.  I am so thankful to have a mother who cares for me and my kids.  However, it can be very difficult at times.   My mom usually forgets that I'm 37 years old and at times treats me like a teenager.   That's to be expected by any mother. 

My life right now is fairly boring.  I'm a 6th grade school teacher and a mom.  My oldest is in preschool and my mom takes care of my little one when I'm working.    I really wish that I could afford to put both kids in daycare, but I can't 

So daycare is the issue.  My mom is at home with one child all day long.  She sees her grandkids each day.  My mom is 56 and I guess she just really wants her space.  So I put my oldest in preschool and I can't afford to pay for living in the house.  It is hard at times. 

My Ex has not given me a dime since he walked out on us last year.  He has made promise after promise for the last year and nothing.  I'm so tired of struggling.  My kids deserve better and I'm determined to provide it. 

Well one night my mom was complaining about the kids and I went to my room and started researching teaching abroad.  I have no idea where this thought came from.  Initially I looked into South America.  I love the Spanish culture and I would love to become fluent in Spanish.  I would love for my kids to learn the language.  After researching I found that South America was not the best fit for someone with kids. 

Have you ever thought about teaching in the Middle East?  Not me.  I never even thought about going to the Middle East.   Well that not I found out that the salary in Abu Dhabi is twice the amount I make here in the United States.   They also provide housing and its tax free!  Next thing you know I'm applying for a position.  That was on May 18, 2013. 

I did some research but did not really think it could happen.  Then on June 6 I checked my email and come to find out I had a phone interview the next day.  What?  It just got real!   My phone interview was June 7 and it went well.  I was told by my teachaway rep that I was on the shortlist for in person interviews.  Then she said that I would probably be coming over in January of 2014 and not August of 2013.   Apparently I already missed interviews a couple of weeks earlier for August interviews.   

Now I'm faced with a dilemma.  I'm not really sure how I feel about going in the middle of the school year.   Not to mention the long list of paperwork that I had to get together.  Then I have to get it all of it notarized by the county and the state department.  After that I have to send it to the State Department in D.C. to be authenticated.  Sounds like a lot to do.    That January date started looking better.  So I came to the conclusion that I would be leaving in January and that was that!

While in Atlanta for the Independence I was on another company's sight and read that ADEC was holding interviews later that month in New York.  Well I emailed my rep and asked if it was true and she said yes.  She then said that the positions were for middle school math and science and asked if I wanted to interview.  I agreed and thought that my dream may come true this year.    

On my way back to Maryland from Atlanta I checked my email and noticed that I had an interview in New York on July 15.  My stomach immediately felt funny.  This is what I wanted but July 15 was only 6 days away.   

I spoke to one of my good friends who also teaches with me and she advised me to look into our school districts resignation policy.  I have a friend that works and human resources so I decided to email her.  Well after working in this district for 12 years I find out that I have to resign by July 15 if I want to ever return to the district.  Also, if I resign after that my certification will be suspended for a year.  So what am I to do?  That’s an easy answer.  I don't plan on living in the desert for the rest of my life so have to put my dream on hold for a year.  I was upset but I had to think about the future. 

I have met some great people on all of the Facebook groups.  I know so much more now.  I’m going to be ready this time next year!